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." I couldn't go on. It wasn't fair to tell Moira what was in my heart, because I would never act on it."But you don't need to make that choice, so you won't," finished Moira.I swallowed hard. I was afraid I might lose Moira like I was losing Joanne. And losing Moira would be harder. Much harder. Too hard.We lay in silence for a minute. I didn't know what to say or what to do."What are you thinking about?" I asked, tentatively."Hmmmph," she snorted softly. "I'm your God-damned employee, Gary. I'm not allowed to be 'thinking about'". I winced. "Anyway," she added after a few seconds of tense silence, "you're the one who brought it up. All I asked for was love." I know," I told her, kissing her softly. "It's not you I'm having the argument with. It's me." Well, do you think you can stop arguing with yourself for a while, and kiss me, and maybe eat me, and fuck me instead? A girl doesn't like to have to beg, Gary..."I could, and I did, and we slept soundly afterwards, but I knew nothing. It's notcreativity. It's thinking in four panels. Set up, set up, set up,joke. You have to be in that mind-set. Plus, my guess is I wasn'tthat funny."I touched his arm which, I realized immediately, was a bad signal tosend. "I'd like to see your old strips."He blushed. "I think they're at my mom's. If she didn't throw themout." Well, if you'd let me, I'd like to see them." He kept blushing, then mumbled, "I'll check next time I'm there."I don't know why, but I felt so comfortable around him. Maybe, itwas that he seemed as vulnerable as I. Or maybe it was his sweetness.He was the first person I told the Steve Wozniak story, too. Myfemale friends didn't understand, and gay guys would've thought itwas bizarre. It always felt like I should say Elton John or KimRichards in "Escape from Witch Mountain." Even when things were good,and I use that term very loosely, with Kenny, I never felt open. Ialways felt like I was hiding something. But, I felt like I could bemyself with Adam. Which is.
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